Autism is an extremely complex disorder but four major areas can be identified: sensory processing challenges, speech/language delays & impairments, lack of social interaction skills and whole child/self-esteem issues. These four elements may be common to many children, keep in mind the fact that autism is a "spectrum disorder": no two (or ten or twenty) children with autism will be exactly alike in their abilities. Every child will be at a different point on the spectrum. Just as importantly, every parent, teacher and caregiver will be at a different point on the spectrum as well. Child or adult, each will have a unique set of needs.
There is a grammar school in South Jersey that has implemented a program called "Inclusion Education" for the neurotypical students & peers of children with Autism and the teachers who have not experienced a student with autism. A Therapist from the program goes into the classrooms weekly to talk about what autism is and who these children are. They are given strategies and ideas on how to help include them and how to calm them if they are agitated. My personal experience with this program is that the neurotypical students go over and above with their attempt to include these children as part of their group. The compassion is touching to observe and it absolutely helps the child with autism to adjust, and appropriately respond to their environment and the people around them.
Here are 10 ways to interact with the child with Autism. These are adapted & reprinted from a separate article entitled "10 Things A Child With Autism Wishes You Knew". The main thing is to set aside pre-conceived notions about what autism is. If you see an apparent "bratty child throwing a tantrum" in a store, think again. Instead of being afraid or quick to judge, ask instead how can you help.
- Moderately Challenging
Instructions
things you'll need:
- An open mind
- willingness to learn
- compassion
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- 1Keep in mind that these children & young adults are first and foremost a child. they have autism. They are not primarily "autistic." Autism is only one aspect of their total character. It does not define them as a person. Are you a person with thoughts, feelings and many talents, or are you just fat (overweight), myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy (uncoordinated, not good at sports)? Those may be things that we see first when we meet you, but they are not necessarily what you are all about.
As an adult, you have some control over how you define yourself. If you want to single out a single characteristic, you can make that known. As a child, they are still unfolding. Neither you nor they yet know what they may be capable of. Defining them by one characteristic runs the danger of setting up an expectation that may be too low. And if a child-any child- gets a sense that you don't think they "can do it," a natural response will be: Why try? - 2Imagine that your sensory perceptions are disordered. Sensory integration may be the most difficult aspect of autism to understand, but it is arguably the most critical. It his means that the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches of everyday that you may not even notice can be actually painful for a person with autism. The very environment in which we have to live often seems hostile. It may appear that the child is withdrawn or belligerent to you but they are really just trying to defend themselves. Here is a personal account of why a "simple" trip to the grocery store may be hell:
"My hearing may be hyper-acute. Dozens of people are talking at once. The loudspeaker booms today's special. Musak whines from the sound system. Cash registers beep and cough, a coffee grinder is chugging. The meat cutter screeches, babies wail, carts creak, the fluorescent lighting hums. My brain can't filter all the input and I'm in overload!
My sense of smell may be highly sensitive. The fish at the meat counter isn't quite fresh, the guy standing next to us hasn't showered today, the deli is handing out sausage samples, the baby in line ahead of us has a poopy diaper, they're mopping up pickles on aisle 3 with ammonia ??’"?.I can't sort it all out. I am dangerously nauseated.
Because I am visually oriented (see more on this below), this may be my first sense to become overstimulated. The fluorescent light is not only too bright, it buzzes and hums. The room seems to pulsate and it hurts my eyes. The pulsating light bounces off everything and distorts what I am seeing -- the space seems to be constantly changing. There's glare from windows, too many items for me to be able to focus (I may compensate with "tunnel vision"), moving fans on the ceiling, so many bodies in constant motion. All this affects my vestibular and proprioceptive senses, and now I can't even tell where my body is in space." Wow. Imagine a life like this every day. That is a day in the life of a child or person with autism. - 3Please remember to distinguish between won't ( choosing not to) and can't (not being able to).
Receptive and expressive language and vocabulary can be major challenges for a child with autism. It isn't that they don't listen to instructions. It's that they can't understand you. When you call from across the room, this is what is heard: "*&^%$@, Billy. $%^*&^%$&* ??’"? ??’"? ??’"?" Instead, come speak directly to the child in plain words: "Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It's time to go to lunch." This tells exactly what you want done and what is going to happen next. Now it is much easier for them to comply. - 4Try to remain a concrete thinker as the child with autism is.This means language is taken very literally. It's very confusing when you say, "Hold your horses, cowboy!" when what you really mean is "Please stop running." Don't say something is a "piece of cake" when there is no dessert in sight and what you really mean is "this will be easy for you to do." When you say "It's pouring cats and dogs," They really do see pets coming out of a pitcher and it is very confusing. Please just say "It's raining very hard."
Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres, inference, metaphors, allusions and sarcasm are lost on a person with autism. - 5Please be patient with children who have a limited vocabulary. It's hard for them to tell you what they need when they don't know the words to describe their feelings. They may be hungry, frustrated, frightened or confused but right now those words are beyond their ability to express. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation or other signs that something is wrong.
Or, there's a flip side to this: A child may sound like a "little professor" or movie star, rattling off words or whole scripts well beyond their developmental age. This is called "scripting" & are messages they have memorized from the world around in order to compensate for language deficits because they know they are expected to respond when spoken to. They may come from books, TV, the speech of other people. It is also called "echolalia." The child doesn't necessarily understand the context or the terminology, they just know that it gets them off the hook for coming up with a reply. - 6Understand that because language is so difficult for a child with autism, they are very visually oriented. Please show them how to do something rather than just telling them & please be prepared to repeat this many times. Lots of consistent repetition helps learning.
A visual schedule is extremely helpful either words or pictures. Like your day-timer, it relieves the child of the stress of having to remember what comes next, makes for smooth transition between activities, helps manage time and meet your expectations.
Usually these children won't lose the need for a visual schedule as they get older, but the "level of representation" may change. Before they can read, they need a visual schedule with photographs or simple drawings. As they get older, a combination of words and pictures may work, and later still, just words. - 7Focus and build more on what the child CAN do rather than what they can't do. Like any other human, they can't learn in an environment where they constantly made to feel not good enough and that they need "fixing." Trying anything new when its almost sure to be met with criticism, however "constructive," becomes something to be avoided. Look for strengths and you will find them. There is more than one "right" way to do most things.
- 8Try to find opportunities for and help with social interactions. It may look like the child doesn't want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it's just that they simply do not know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to invite the child to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, it may be that the child will be delighted to be included.
Structured play activities that have a clear beginning and end seem to be the best choice for a child with autism. They don't know how to "read" facial expressions, body language or the emotions of others, so ongoing coaching in proper social responses is a great help. (For example, laughing when another falls off the slide- it's not that the child thinks it's funny, but rather that he doesn't know the proper response. Teach him to say "Are you OK?" - 9Learn to anticipate & to identify what triggers emotional meltdowns. Meltdowns, blow-ups, tantrums or whatever you want to call them are even more awful for the autistic child than they are for you. They occur because one or more of the senses has gone into overload. If you can figure out why the meltdowns occur, they can be prevented. Keep a log noting times, settings, people, activities. A pattern may emerge.
Try to remember that ALL behavior is a form of communication. It tells you, when words cannot, how the child perceives something that is happening in his or her environment.
Parents, keep in mind as well: persistent behavior may have an underlying medical cause. Food allergies and sensitivities, sleep disorders and gastrointestinal problems can all have profound effects on behavior. - 10Love & respect the child unconditionally. Banish thoughts like, "If he would just...." and "Why can't she...." You did not fulfill every last expectation your parents had for you and you wouldn't like being constantly reminded of it. These children did not choose to have autism, But remember that it is happening to them, not you. Without your support, the chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you -- they are worth it.
- 11And finally, remember these three words: Patience. Patience. Patience. Work to view autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given us. It may be true that a child with autism is not good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed that they don't lie, cheat at games, tattle on classmates or pass judgment on other people?
The answer to Alzheimer's, the enigma of extraterrestrial life -- what future achievements from today's children with autism, lie ahead?
All that they might become won't happen without you and I as the foundation. Think through some of those societal 'rules' and if they don't make sense, let them go. Be an advocate, be a friend, and we'll see just how far we all can go. Also true that the child with autism probably won't be the next Michael Jordan. But with the attention to fine detail and capacity for extraordinary focus, they could be the next Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh.
They had autism too.
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